Chowrangi

“The Great Question I have not been able to answer,” Sigmund Freud once confessed, “is what does a woman want?”

Many husbands wonder the same thing today. But modern psychologists—and women—know the answer. A woman wants most everything a man wants: success, power, recognition, love, marriage, children, happiness and fulfillment.

Women need to communicate this more clearly. Here are a few important things we should tell the men we love.

1. Be genuinely affectionate. Women need genuine, personal display of affection. Most of the husbands who are not able to give proper time to their wives or fail to exhibit warmth to their spouses, try to compensate it by buying them expensive gifts. An ostentatious gift can make her feel that a man is trying to buy her affections and sees her as a prize rather than a person.

   Gifts that give women genuine pleasure are those with a personal touch, it can be as simple as an item of clothing for example, because such gifts, when chosen properly, are statements of caring and high form of flattery, demonstrating recognition of a loved one’s special taste.

   Love her for whatever she is. Do little things that make a difference, such as doing small chores for her, sharing a laugh and often verbally express your love to her, tell her that she means to you.

2. Tell her she’s beautiful. A married woman might gaze at a picture of her wedding, when she was a thin young woman in love with her husband. Now when she looks in the mirror, she sees an overweight mother of two. Even if her clothes are only one size larger than they were on her wedding day years back, but she sees herself as FAT.

   It can be difficult for a man to understand why a woman doesn’t think she is pretty when she looks perfectly fine to him. But telling her that she’s beautiful in a vague way doesn’t help. She needs a specific compliment—“I like that haircut” or “You look great in white”. By focusing on the details, a man demonstrates that he is paying attention, really looking at her, and this is the kind of comment that can boost a woman’s self-esteem. Never tell her that she is too fat or she looks old, even if she does! A positive feedback gives a woman incentive to dress-up.

3. Never underestimate her work. Work gives a man identity and status, and same holds for the women of today. Many of the working women face this harsh reality that their husbands do not properly acknowledge their work. If a woman is a primary school teacher and her husband is working as a sales executive for instance, she is likely to be undervalued by her husband that her job is not worthwhile. Recognition and appreciation by her husband adds an augment to her work.

   And even if she is not working and is a simple housewife just tell her that she is doing a great job raising the kids and taking care of the house.

4. Women need sympathetic ear. Women more often view conversations as a way of sharing their motions with the listener. On the contrary men stay away from personal and emotional issues, which is exactly where women like to steer their conversations. It could be hard for a person who has had a hard day at his office to pay an ear to his wife’s diminutive home-related issues, but try being tolerant as it’s going to be advantageous for you in long terms.

5. Fidelity. Women are looking for long-term qualities in a partner. Even though women may ache for love, they carry around an inner evaluator who asks, Can I count on this man? So any man, who hopes to sweep a woman off her feet pay as much attention to characteristics such as kindness and dependability. Fidelity, in long-term relations or the relationship that has just begun, is a basic element.

6. Problem solving approach. What women really want is for man to respect, rather than deride, the special ways they have of analyzing problems. When men struggle with a problem, they stay right with it, believing that’s the only way of solving it, but often getting more and more upset. Women are more likely to simply let problems solve themselves—for example, by giving a child more time to adjust to a new teacher, rather than insisting on an immediate classroom change. They in their own perspective have a different problem solving approach.

7. Sometimes, a woman has to be alone. At times, women need “down-time”—to shop, read, recharge batteries, —and man shouldn’t feel hurt if his spouse doesn’t want to spend every free minute with him. Most people don’t appreciate how important solitude can be. Men need to understand that when a woman needs time to be alone, she’s expressing a need to be autonomous, not a lack of love, and she’s making herself a better companion in the bargain.

8. A woman wants to be friends with her husband. A woman wants he man in her life to be true equal, someone who respects her strengths, treats her weaknesses with kindness, and expects her to do the same for him. In short, she wants a friend, lover and a partner who understands her.

Other posts by Jennshah

• Gulgee - The Late Legend - January 1st, 2008
• New Years Resolutions - December 31st, 2007
• Methods to overcome forgetfulness - December 31st, 2007
• Think Positive - Talk Positive - December 27th, 2007
• Globesity - December 25th, 2007
• Hot Soup -- A Winter Comfort - December 25th, 2007
• Language of Dreams: Symbols and Interpretations - December 24th, 2007
• Keep Smiling :) - December 24th, 2007
• Stay composed, cope with depression - December 24th, 2007
• Be a Beauty Goddess --- Drink Green Tea - December 24th, 2007