Chowrangi

I have devised the mother of all deals, a deal which should enable all crooked national assembly members to immediately multiply their billions by a factor of five. For starters, all such legislators should be allowed to amass so much that they’re able to buy two hundred thousand dollar necklaces for all their wives and mistresses within three months of getting elected. I mean, what’s the use of spending millions on getting elected if you can’t make enough in three months to buy expensive jewelery for your near and dear ones?

In less than a year, and for every year after that, they should have made enough (illegally, of course), to buy a mansion in the U.K., or a palace in Jeddah, besides having billions in Swiss bank accounts. How they’ll do it is no secret. They can indulge in sugar shortages, since quite a few of them are sugar mill owners or traders. Or they can make wheat disappear and reappear whenever they want to. Their inalienable right to perform umrah every year at state expense should be made part of the constitution. And for all the looting they do, they should be granted blanket immunity from prosecution. Oh, and just in case they feel inclined to have some of their opponents killed, the state will see that they’re released immediately on bail, if some policeman has the nerve to arrest them in the first place.

Finally, this country should be renamed Corruptistan, as it is the only country in the world where such criminals are not only never punished, they can contest elections without fear of being disqualified.

Other posts by Shakir Lakhani

• If Pakistan goes to war with United States of America - October 9th, 2008
• Killing of Christians in Secular India - October 1st, 2008
• Pakistan Muslims: so-called guardians of Islam - September 30th, 2008
• Mr. Zardari's offer to "hug" Ms Palin - September 26th, 2008
• Corruption decreases slightly in Pakistan - September 24th, 2008
• Rehman Malik should think before he talks - September 23rd, 2008
• Saudi cleric's fatwa to kill satellite TV station owners - September 19th, 2008
• How they treat cheaters in Egypt! - September 10th, 2008
• Is Zardari mentally fit to be President? - August 27th, 2008
• Why is Zardari against re-instatement of the Chief Justice? - August 21st, 2008