Chowrangi

According to latest report in the New York Times, a famous astrologist has made these predictions:

• Sarah Palin will divorce her husband and will marry Asif Ali Zardari.
• Sarah Palin will be elected Vice President of USA.
• President McCain will die of old age and natural causes.
• Palin will become President of the USA.
• After Palin gets killed by an unknown group of ‘terrorists’, her hastily handwritten last will and testament will be discovered by her husband Zardari.
• Her will will say ” Zardari will inherit my presidency after my death”. This will be frantically waved (once) in front of the Congress. It will than be put into an envelope and will replace the Declaration of Independence document. Public viewing of the same will not be allowed. Asif Ali Zardari will declare the FBI incompetent in the investigation of Palin’s murder, and will eventually ask the UN to investigate.
• Zardari will become the next President of the USA.
• The Republican Party will be renamed the Peoples Party of America, and Asif Ali Zardari will also be Co-Chairman.
• JFK Airport will be renamed as Shaheed Mohtarma Benazir Bhutto International Airport of New York City.
• Lincoln Tunnel will be renamed as the Shaheed Mohtarma Benazir Bhutto Underpass.
• Times Square will be renamed as Shaheed Mohtarma Benazir Bhutto Chowk.
• By Presidential Order (which will be known as PCO), the portrait of Shaheed Mohtarma Benazir Bhutto will hang alongside every official portrait of George Washington.
• By PCO-2, all government staff and the military will be required to loudly scream ‘Jiye Bhutto’ with every salute….thereby ensuring that the White House resounds with the chanting of ‘Jiye Bhutto’ and ‘Zinda Hai BB Zina Zinda Hai’.
• Jahangir Badr will take over as Press Secretary, while Sherry Rehman will be installed as Secretary of State.
• The American people will be told that all their ills are the doing of the past 10 years, and that it will take at least 15 years to fix them…if the Peoples Party of America is kept in power.
• All the energy utility companies in America will be nationalized, and a new institution known as Water and Power Development of America (WAPDA) will be created to create, supply and manage America’s energy needs.
• Thereafter America will be introduced to the money saving measure of ‘loadshedding’.
• Soon thereafter, customer service centre’s will be created all over the country headed by an SDO.
• To bring the obese American nation to health, frequent ‘atta’ shortages will be created.
• At long last, America will finally be on the road to riches!
• Bilawal will change his name to Bilawal Bhutto Palin Zardari.

Note: This is a piece of fiction. Any resemblance to real people, places and events is coincidental and unintended.

Source: Emailed by Hussain

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• Open Letter of Appreciation to Government of Pakistan - November 5th, 2008
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• Pity the Nation - October 26th, 2008
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