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Predictions of the Century: The Fate of Sarah Palin, and Asif Ali Zardari and United States of America

According to latest report in the New York Times, a famous astrologist has made these predictions:

  • Sarah Palin will divorce her husband and will marry Asif Ali Zardari.
  • Sarah Palin will be elected Vice President of USA.
  • President McCain will die of old age and natural causes.
  • Palin will become President of the USA.
  • After Palin gets killed by an unknown group of ‘terrorists’, her hastily handwritten last will and testament will be discovered by her husband Zardari.
  • Her will will say ” Zardari will inherit my presidency after my death”. This will be frantically waved (once) in front of the Congress. It will than be put into an envelope and will replace the Declaration of Independence document. Public viewing of the same will not be allowed. Asif Ali Zardari will declare the FBI incompetent in the investigation of Palin’s murder, and will eventually ask the UN to investigate.
  • Zardari will become the next President of the USA.
  • The Republican Party will be renamed the Peoples Party of America, and Asif Ali Zardari will also be Co-Chairman.
  • JFK Airport will be renamed as Shaheed Mohtarma Benazir Bhutto International Airport of New York City.
  • Lincoln Tunnel will be renamed as the Shaheed Mohtarma Benazir Bhutto Underpass.
  • Times Square will be renamed as Shaheed Mohtarma Benazir Bhutto Chowk.
  • By Presidential Order (which will be known as PCO), the portrait of Shaheed Mohtarma Benazir Bhutto will hang alongside every official portrait of George Washington.
  • By PCO-2, all government staff and the military will be required to loudly scream ‘Jiye Bhutto’ with every salute….thereby ensuring that the White House resounds with the chanting of ‘Jiye Bhutto’ and ‘Zinda Hai BB Zina Zinda Hai’.
  • Jahangir Badr will take over as Press Secretary, while Sherry Rehman will be installed as Secretary of State.
  • The American people will be told that all their ills are the doing of the past 10 years, and that it will take at least 15 years to fix them…if the Peoples Party of America is kept in power.
  • All the energy utility companies in America will be nationalized, and a new institution known as Water and Power Development of America (WAPDA) will be created to create, supply and manage America’s energy needs.
  • Thereafter America will be introduced to the money saving measure of ‘loadshedding’.
  • Soon thereafter, customer service centre’s will be created all over the country headed by an SDO.
  • To bring the obese American nation to health, frequent ‘atta’ shortages will be created.
  • At long last, America will finally be on the road to riches!
  • Bilawal will change his name to Bilawal Bhutto Palin Zardari.

Note: This is a piece of fiction. Any resemblance to real people, places and events is coincidental and unintended.

Source: Emailed by Hussain

Other posts by Kashif Aziz


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4 Responses to “Predictions of the Century: The Fate of Sarah Palin, and Asif Ali Zardari and United States of America

  • 1
    Shakir Lakhani
    October 13th, 2008 10:55 GMT

    “thereby ensuring that the White House resounds with the chanting of ‘Jiye Bhutto’ and ‘Zinda Hai BB Zina Hai’.”. Read carefully, what does the second last word (Zina) supposed to mean?

  • 2
    Shakir Lakhani
    October 13th, 2008 15:18 GMT

    “According to latest report in the New York Times”. Are you sure? If it is from the New York Times, what was the date on which it was printed?

  • 3
    Kashif Aziz
    October 13th, 2008 16:15 GMT

    Its shouldn’t be taken that seriously :)

  • 4
    Mehmood Ahmed
    February 1st, 2009 22:47 GMT

    Seriously, I started to read it with a serious note ….. eyes remained widening with every sentence until I could not control my giggles …… it was where Her will says that Zardari will INHERIT my presidency …….. LOL! Too good Sir, too funny.


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