Chowrangi

In our society the biggest fear of married women is that their husbands might remarry, and taking advantage of this fact, most of the husbands threaten their wives by mentioning that they will bring a “saut” on them. In many families, I have seen, women who have kids and living a healthy life also have this fear buried deep in their hearts which keeps them unconfident of their husbands. And due to which many of them mistrust their loyal husbands of their activities.

Numerous women feel that Islam has made them insecure by allowing the men to have more than one wife and true to their fears many of the men as well think that due to they are belong to the superior gender and can afford more than one wife its their right to remarry. And of course when they are allowed to keep four wives in their nikah at a time, keeping two won’t hurt. And because of this approach Islam is being misperceived as a religion that does not give equal rights to men and women, and consider women only subject of comfort for males.

Many of the women argue against the permission given towards polygamy in Islam. But many scholars who have gone through the pain in studying what Islam actually says have different opinion. They agree, in general, that Islam’s approach to polygamy is most balanced and rational and is based on the moral, psychological and physiological demands of men and women. It should be remembered that taking more than one wife is only permissible, not ordained by the Quran. The Quranic verse that allows polygamy should be read in the context it was revealed. The Verse says, “And if you fear that you cannot act equitably towards orphans, then marry such women as seem good to you, two, three and four, but if you fear that you may not do justice to them, then (marry) only one” (4: 3). This verse was revealed after the battle of Uhud. In that battle, many Muslim men died and as such a great social problem for the protection of widows and orphans arose, necessitating an institutionalized polygamy for a convenient solution of the problem.

It should be remembered that polygamy is not a compulsory thing nor is it advocated. It is just a permission with certain limitation and conditions. And in some of the circumstances this permission proves to be useful. For example, if the wife is chronically ill, or is barren, or for some other reasons it is not desirable for the couple to live as husband and wife. The remedy offered by certain societies is to divorce the wife and remarry. But is this justice? Is it kind or noble to turn out a woman in her old or middle age from her home, just because she remains sick or she happens to be barren? Islam discourages such cruelty by permitting polygamy. Unfortunately, the world uses this permission of polygamy for criticizing Islam. Many people criticizing on this approach suggest that this permission encourages lust and sensuality, which is detrimental to the family well being, the increasing number of children due to plurality of wives, and the system of polygamy injures the delicate feelings of women.

First of all, it should be remembered that Islam put a limit and restriction on the number of wives a man can have when many primitive religions didn’t talk about any limits on it. The attitude of husband towards all his wives must be such as to give no occasion to heartburning, jealousy, dissatisfaction, discontent and frustration to any of them. There should be no cruelty, injustice, bias or partiality on the part of the husband. It is expected and seen that complete peace, harmony and tranquility prevails in the household where the husband faithfully observes the injunctions of Islam regarding the equal status of all the wives in matters of maintenance, and general treatment.

If the husband cannot exercise this equality he is not allowed to marry more than one. Regarding this restriction of number and equal treatment, the Quran ordains:

“Marry such as you please, of other women, by twos, threes and fours; but if you apprehend that you shall not be able to deal justly with them, then marry one only.” (Quran, 4:3)

Conditions on polygamy: There are some conditions that must be fulfilled by the husband if he wishes to have more than one wife.

1) Firstly, ensure the fairness and justice to all wives.

2) The husband must have sufficient economic means to provide adequate food, clothing and other necessities of life to each of them.

3) Each of the wives must be provided with a separate house of her own, where only the husband has a right to enter without asking her permission first.

4) The husband must spend equal time in the house of every wife. He must divide his nights among them, and must visit wives in the morning. This will give him a chance to look after the welfare of all every day, and will maintain good relationship with all of them.

The first conditions talks about being absolutely just and fair. No one on this earth including Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) can be absolutely fair. Our Prophet peace be upon him used to pray in one of his prayers to Allah Almighty by saying in Arabic “Allah humma innaka taalamu be anni aadiloo bima astatee’, wa lakinnee la aadiloo bima la astatee’,” which means in English “Dear Allah, you are well aware that I try to be just with all I can, but I can’t be just with what I can’t.” This prayer means that our Prophet always tried to be fair as much as possible, but he couldn’t always do that.

One time, Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him said this prayer, because he used to love his wife Aisha (who was the youngest of his wives) the most, and he always feared that he would not be fair to the rest of his wives. Muhammad peace be upon him recognized that he was only a human being, and he can not be fair especially in his feelings at all time.

This clearly proves that Islam highly discourages the marriage of multiple wives for (1) Because no one can be fair; (2) polygamy is only allowed when the male species is endangered in a society; and (3) The Noble Verse 4:3 orders us to marry only one wife if we feel that we will not be fair.

The Noble Verse that I presented above also clearly proves that no one can be absolutely fair; “Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women, even if it is your ardent desire: But turn not away (from a woman) altogether, so as to leave her (as it were) hanging (in the air). If ye come to a friendly understanding, and practice self-restraint, God is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful. (The Noble Quran, 4:129)”

Islam does not allow marriage of multiple wives for males’ sexual privileges and desires as Anti-Islamics claim. A normal man who makes enough money to keep him surviving in life can not provide a fair quality of life to all his wives, which means that he must not be allowed to marry multiple wives because he will only make his society worse.

Noble Verse 4:3 came to solve social problems. Unfortunately today, some Muslims intensify the Muslim’s social problems in the Islamic poor countries by marrying multiple wives and bringing more and more illiterate and poor kids into the society which on the long run will only keep their entire society below the level of poverty. Therefore, Noble Verse 4:3 doesn’t allow polygamy just for anyone or any reason and Noble Verse 4:129 certainly nullifies the excuse Allah Almighty gave to Muslim men to practice polygamy. Therefore, unless we have social or personal dilemmas where too many Muslim men were lost, or there is a problem with the wife toward her husband, then polygamy should not be allowed nor justified in my Islamic view. (And Allah Almighty knows best, and may He forgive me if I made any mistakes in this article.)

Other posts by Jennshah

• Stretching - October 18th, 2008
• Gulgee - The Late Legend - January 1st, 2008
• New Years Resolutions - December 31st, 2007
• Methods to overcome forgetfulness - December 31st, 2007
• Think Positive - Talk Positive - December 27th, 2007
• Globesity - December 25th, 2007
• Hot Soup -- A Winter Comfort - December 25th, 2007
• Language of Dreams: Symbols and Interpretations - December 24th, 2007
• Keep Smiling :) - December 24th, 2007
• Stay composed, cope with depression - December 24th, 2007