Chowrangi

Festival of Halloween is celebrated in the West on the night October 31. Though origin of Halloween is still disputed but one story says that (which I read somewhere on web):

“On that day, the disembodied spirits of all those who had died throughout the preceding year would come back in search of living bodies to possess for the next year. It was believed to be their only hope for the afterlife. The Celts believed all laws of space and time were suspended during this time, allowing the spirit world to intermingle with the living.”

“Naturally, the still-living did not want to be possessed. So on the night of October 31, villagers would extinguish the fires in their homes, to make them cold and undesirable. They would then dress up in all manner of ghoulish costumes and noisily paraded around the neighborhood, being as destructive as possible in order to frighten away spirits looking for bodies to possess.”

This story has just been revealed to the Pakistani politicians, and they have become really apprehensive. Benzair, Shujaat, Fazl-ur-Rehman, Musharraf and the rest of the politicians have forgotten the race for Kursi and are thinking of different attires to fool the spirits. Altaf Hussain has forgotten all the forthcoming terrorism designs, and even not spending the extortion money he is receiving from Karachi and roaming in the stores to have something deceiving.

Now the question is who is afraid of whom? After much prying, eavesdropping, investigation, cajoling and threatening, I have a whiff of the facts. For example Altaf Hussain wets his pants because he fears Hitler. Fazl-ur-Rehman is scared of Mir Jaffar, Benazir is fearing Indra Gandhi, Nawaz Sharif starts weeping even at the mention of General Zia, Musharraf forgets his guts when Kamal Atta Turk is mentioned. Qazi starts trembling just at the thought of Nawabzada Nassarullah, and Shujaat gets crazy at the mention of Zulfiqar Bhutto. Imran Khan dreads the spirit of Goldsmith.

Now you must be wondering as what exactly are the ideas thought-up by these genius statesmen of our country to save them from the wrath of spirits. As far as my information is concerned, here are the ideas:

Fazl-ur-Rehman: He has decided to wear a costume featuring a cow with huge udder at crotch level.

Imran Khan: He is going to wear Indian cricket uniform, with a huge lion attached to his butt by its jaws.

Altaf Hussain: Nothing beats the costume of this man. He is dying his hair red, painting his whole body shocking red, and will wear white boxer shorts, and will swish whole night of Halloween. Here, desi Shakira for you.

Musharraf: He has arranged to borrow the robe of chief justice for Halloween night, along with glasses of justice.

Benazir: She has decided to go as a two-headed monster. Each head will have different pair of masks, which she will replace every hour. She has the masks-pair of Bush/Osama, Zardari/Murtaza Bhutto, Fazl/Qazi, and the most striking pair is the one in which one represent herself with ‘Kursi’, and in the other herself with ‘Tasbeeh’.

Nawaz Sharif: He also messed up his Halloween Costume, and will be an easy target for the most dumbest of spirit, as he is dressing up in the Arabic style.

What is your guess, who is going to deceive the spirits, after all?

Other posts by Commoner

• Suicide Bombing at Orakzai Agency: Jirgas Should Not Deter - October 11th, 2008
• Capital Rocks Again - October 9th, 2008
• Bajaur Action Succeeding - October 9th, 2008
• Composite Sessions - October 9th, 2008
• Gates Day Dream - October 9th, 2008
• Another Mistake By Zardari? - October 7th, 2008
• Not So Strange Admission - October 5th, 2008
• Gallop's Trot - October 5th, 2008
• Sarabjit's Pardon - October 5th, 2008
• Not So Kingly - October 2nd, 2008