Chowrangi

Today, Virgin founder Richard Branson and Google co-founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin announced the ultimate dream of humanity, to colonize Mars. Termed as Project Virgle and starting in 2014, it will be the first permanent human colony on Mars.

Google has details here, including FAQ and Open Source Planet Initiative.

Interested candidates have to fill in a questionnaire. You need to be a martian-in-disguise to clear this form, unless the response will be:

I had such a pleasant dream last night that I’m beginning to think there’s such a thing as”white magic” (as opposed to “black magic”, with which one particular chap here is deeply obsessed with).

I was searching for “syntax error unexpected $end” and I come to know that THE $END IS NEAR!

Here goes…

YOUR CODE MAY COME TO AN UNEXPECTED $END!!!

You may think yourself quite the PHP programmer, but, at some point in the future, your code will come to an unexpected end!

However, we’ve prepared this guide to assist you in preparing for this possibility. Pick the religion that most closely resembles your belief system and follow the instructions to make sure that your code is prepared for an “unexpected $end”:

A man was taking a stroll in a park in New York. Suddenly he saw a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog. He ran over and started fighting with the dog. He succeeded in killing the dog and saving the girl’s life. A policeman who was watching the scene walked over and said: “You are a hero,” tomorrow you will read it in the newspapers: “Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl.” The man said: ” I am not a New Yorker!” “Oh, then it will say: Brave American saves life of a little girl” - the policeman answers. “But I am not an American!” - says the man. “Oh, what are you then?” The man said: “I am a Saudi!” Then next day the newspaper read: “Islamic extremist kills innocent American dog.”

I am really missing our former Prime Minister Shaukat Aziz, who has left for “Pardes” and havent asked us as what we are doing with his bumper crop. People say that he was a puppet, but I say that he was an intelligent puppet. The biggest proof is that he screwed the country as much as he wanted, while nodding his head on everything Musharraf said, and when the time came, he just bolted.

He was far-sighted enough to not to become Prime Minister second time, as he knew that there is all probability of a bad end, as stats suggest that two-time Prime Ministers doest last well. He must be laughing his head out, while sitting smugly in Washington sipping whatever he sips.

I know Carla when she was growing in the quiet town of Turin, Italy and nobody knew she would be in the limelight of world media someday, when the pal Nicolas Sarkozy would date her. Now she is a star Franco-Italian model and singer, while Sarkozy is the president of France, and both are snatching the media attention from the likes of Britney Spears and Spice Girls. Elysée Palace has snatched my dreams of youth, but like a good nice eastern lover, I wish her best of luck, and going to forests to spend the rest of life.

One of the few differences between humans and apes, despite both having near-identical brains and bodies, is the thirst for entertainment found among humans. Of course, there are people all over the world who believe that anything which gives pleasure to the mind or the body is sinful, and one should refrain from whatever diverts the mind from serious matters. I would say about ten percent of humans are in this category, the kind that go around with mournful expressions and making life miserable for their fellow beings with their warnings about what will happen to them after they’re dead.

Dear Mr. Mahsud,

I write this letter to you as a fellow Muslim and a sympathizer. For the last year or so, you have taken up the mantle of the Emir-e-Taliban in your area and plunged as all into a constant fear of suicide bombings, killings, militancy etc etc!! What gives man??? What’s the bloody point of all this, sure I know Ayman’s a great pal of yours and you are enamored by him and wanna be like him but dude!! Have you ever thought about all the people you have killed? Have you ever considered the fact that your life is jus an endless run from cave to house and back to some cave. Is this what Islam has taught you?? Are you even aware of the fact that Islam forbids taking of any innocent life? Or did you just fall out of your cot/crib on your head when you were young?

One of my hobbies is to read ill-informed posts about how the only super power in the world can save more, and then coming up with my own solutions. John Boni hits right square in my guts when he concluded with an intelligent blogging frown that only if America elects Muslims as their congressmen in bulk, then the US deficit will become a WMD i.e. it won’t exist.

You can tell from a mile, when a household American tries to yank-out a post out of nothing. If the post contains references to Muslims and Islam and some weird logic, rest assured that it will also contain reference to the virgins in paradise and other CNN-ised and Fox-ised propaganda.

As it was required to know through survey what Pakistani nation thinks about the decision of President General (r) Pervez Musharraf regarding the throwing out of judges. This survey, whose findings were published in all the Pakistani dailies, was conducted by International Republican Institute (IRI), a conservative-leaning civic group based in Washington, USA.

Only God knows how many dollars IRI wasted upon this un-called for survey. It could have gone for the easy way. It could give me handful of dollars (o come on we all are crazy about greenbacks), and I would have told them in a jiffy what they have found after much ado and dollars.