Chowrangi

As if the world wasn’t already threatened by global warming, floods and earthquakes, a new enemy has appeared on the horizon. The superbug known as New Delhi metallo-beta-lactamase-1 (NDM-1). This virus is resistant to even the most powerful antibiotics known, the class of antibiotics known as Carbapenems which are reserved for use when all other antibiotics have failed.

The bacteria was named NDM-1 because the original patient who was investigated had flown back to Sweden from India with the infection. It was known that the origin of the infection was India and not Sweden. (It was) in the tradition of naming these types of bacteria after the city of origin, Prof Timothy R Walsh of Cardiff University told the Indian Express.

Muslims in India are treated worse than Dalits. They are widely perceived as being pro-Pakistani and supporters of self-determination for the people of Kashmir. So it’s not surprising to hear that Indian banks are denying banking facilities to most Indian Muslims.

According to The Hindu, Indian banks have designated those areas where Muslims are in the majority as “red zones”, and these localities are not provided banking facilities. Muslim students who have won scholarships and live in the red zones find they cannot open bank accounts.

It seems that Muslims are more discriminated against in India than blacks in the U.S. This is the real face of Indian democracy!

Three recent incidents prove that as far as women are concerned, we’re still living in the Stone Age. The first, about a woman being gang-raped, should not shock us anymore. This is the kind of incident that happens regularly, so much so that it would be shocking if it didn’t occur on any given day. Yet it proves that the poor women in rural areas are treated worse than animals. At least the females of other species are not raped by males!

In the second incident, a pregnant mother of six was first shot and then thrown into a canal by her brother because he suspected her of having an illicit affair with a relative.

Sheikh Adil Al-Kalbani was the first black man appointed as the imam of the Grand Mosque (the holy Kaaba) in Makkah. He was very popular for his unique recitation style and had millions of admirers round the world. However, after he declared that music is not “haraam” (forbidden), he was sacked by the government and his website was hacked.

Of course, the reaction was to be expected. Most Muslims have been told by illiterate mullahs that listening to music is a great sin, although there is nothing in the Holy Koran to prove it. Sheikh Adil Al-Kalbani merely said what is self-evident.

Indians are wondering why their country has not been able to send a team to the World Cup tournament in South Africa.

My sources in India tell me that India is making massive efforts to raise a world class football team for the next World Cup. India confidently expects to be the next World champions.

I think (from the evidence available), India may be able to win, as my Indian friends on this blog will agree.

A Karachi businessman recently had a heart attack when he got a notice from the Income Tax department to pay a huge sum as income tax. It seems that his mobile phone bills alone had averaged more than fifty thousand rupees a month, even though his declared income had been only four hundred thousand rupees a year. This, along with the fact that he had taken his family on vacations to Malaysia and Europe last year, convinced the tax hounds that his real income was at least five times more than what he had stated on his tax returns.

This is something that one would have thought happened only in Pakistan or Afghanistan. But 18-year-old Anithra of Uttar Pradesh killed herself after the chairman of her college rebuked her for talking to a boy.

Strange, even after watching all those Bollywood movies and Star Plus programs where boys and girs are seen with their arms around each other, Indians are so narrow-minded. What’s so bad about a girl talking to a boy? Only an Indian can tell!

Pakistani researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element, so far only discovered and found in Pakistan , has been named Zardarium (Symbol = Zm). It has one Presitron, 1 Priministron, 77 Ministrons, 98 deputy Ministrons, 298 National Assemblions, and 100 Senatrons, giving it an atomic mass of 575.

These 575 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks. Since Zardarium has no electrons, it is inert, impotent and ineffective. However, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

During and after my recent angioplasty in hospital, I was surrounded by cheerful female nurses and both male and female doctors. In fact, the angioplasty was carried out under the supervision of a confident and smartly dressed female cardiologist (who is head of the cardiac unit in one of the city’s major hospitals).

If Pakistan is to survive, it has to be made economically manageable, and the only way this can be done is to have more provinces.

Switzerland, with a population of only 8 million has 26 cantons, which is equivalent to one province having 300,000 people. No wonder Switzerland is one of the most efficient societies in the world. Pakistan, with a population of 170 million, is composed of four provinces). Naturally this causes inefficiency and corruption, and the masses feel that they are being governed by faceless robots in Islamabad.