Chowrangi

I am beginning to suspect very strongly that Pakistani film director Syed Noor, Shahzad Rafique and other film makers like Shiekh Akram, Imran Khan and others are the close companions of Al-Qaeda. They leave no stone unturned while making the movies to make sure that everybody, no matter how hard he tried, managed to see their movie even up till interval. Their movies are the genuine repellers, and people really repent on their sin of coming over to cinema after first or second scene.

On this Eid-ul-Fitr, as the gift from film industry, ten grand movies were released with all the fanfare. From those ten, four are Punjabi, four are Pushto and two are in Urdu Language. The names of Punjabi collection are really poetic and highly intellectual and they include “Mohabattan Suchiyan”,”Ghundi Run”,”Ishtehari Rajpoot”, and “Bala Badmash”. Pushto gems are even better than the crap like Titanic and Rambo series, they include “Tiger”, “420″, “Badshahi Malangah Noor Poodwash”, “Zarra May Ta Darray Day.” Urdu flicks are lame and got innocent names like “GodFather” and “Jhoomer.”

My favorite one is “Zarra May Ta Darray Day”. Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t seen it yet, as I don’t have any desire to see big fat butts swishing in the shadow of Kalashnikovs, while in the background they are selling heroin, while in the far corner the dancing heroin’s father is saying some sort of prayer. It’s just its name. Say it three times, and you will get cramps in your bowels. I like it, because it has given me another tool to punish my inordinate students.

Need I tell you the cast of these movies? I guess not, but let’s just for adding more lines to this blog, bear with me and suffer the names. Veena Malik of “Hum Sub Umeed Say Hien” is doing exactly that in the movies, which she ridicules in her T.V. programs. Her dances are so funny, you can even make Qazi Hussain Ahmad laugh. The heroin of other Punjabi and Urdu film is more than likely Syed Noor’s dame Saima, and others like Rambo, Sahiba, Momi, and Shan are also present in every movie.

I and the whole leadership of Al-Qaeda are so glad and satisfied that this year again, Pakistani Cinema people have fully cooperated with us to push the film industry more towards the brink of hell.

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• US Chuck Mush - August 18th, 2008
• Charge Ahead - August 17th, 2008
• Makhdoom Shah Mahmood Qureshi Supports Musharraf's Safe Passage - August 17th, 2008
• Musharraf's Wings Dried Up - August 16th, 2008
• Safe Passage for Musharraf - August 15th, 2008
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